Valentine's Day

Life around our house has been pretty quiet.  Well, other than Rylee's constant babbling and "dadadadada"s and "bababababa"s and Troy's constant none stop talking.  But this week has been pretty low key.  This weekend maybe not so much.  Saturday, Mommy is getting a long overdue hair color and cut!  AMEN.  My poor hair.  Saturday afternoon, we're going to have the kids photos taken (for their 1 and 2 year old photos, I know a little late) at Portrait Innovations.  We just had them done last November so we're going to take advantage of the $9.95 deal.  It's a great deal and we really only need 1 photo.  Then, Saturday night, we're going to go out to eat for Valentine's Day/my birthday.  Going out to eat is very much a rarity at our house.  We don't go unless we have a gift certificate so this is BIG!  I am so excited I could hardly stand it.  I am not even sure where we are going.  It could be to Arby's for all I care.  This just means that I don't have to cook. Amen to that too!  I will post a photo of before and after of my hair in my next post as well as the kids photos. 

Valentine's Day is a day that I haven't cared much about in the past few years.  To me, Valentine's Day marked a horrible day.  5 years ago, I found out that I was pregnant.  I was 19, sophomore in college, not married to Kristopher, scared like CRAZY!  On February 14, 2005, I lost that baby.  That was the beginning of our long journey to have children.  However, at the time, we were not ready to be parents in any way, shape or form but we would've managed.  As much as I wasn't ready to be a mother, by that time I had enough time to accept the fact and forsee what my life would've been like on October 8, 05.  My family was supportive of Kris and I.  He took a major brunt of hurtful things said and my heart broke for him.  I know those things are still baried deep down and every Valentine's day he thinks of those things.  I know I do.  Every Valentine's Day I mourn over that baby.  Just like every October 28th I mourn for our second angel baby and every January 17th I mourn for our third angel baby.  Valentine's Day 2005, I had gotten Kris a card from baby and me, that card is among the books and blanket, hat and rattle in a cardboard shoebox rounded with duct tape baried deep in our garage.  I will never open that box.  I never want to look at that box again but I just can't get rid of it.  Valentine's Day 2010 will be just like every other Valentine's Day.