And she speaks after 24 days..

Many people have asked me why I haven't posted in a while. I am going to be straight forward and not beat around the bush. The answer is that a few people have told me they thinks that it would be to my benefit to seek "professional help". To this I would like to briefly discuss as there are much more interesting things that have/are happening in our lives than "professional help".

I was told this blog is like my diary. It is. I am just like any other person who has ups and downs in my everyday life. I am not a saint by any means. I have had my fair share of down days this year. And as you will find out later in this post, lately I have had quite a few up days. This blog is simply to keep each and every one of you, whom are our dear family and friends, up to date with our family. It is a zillion times easier to write it to a shlew of people instead of having to answer every email and every phone call. I barely have time to do this let alone all of that. But ultimately the main reason for this blog is for memory. I print these out and someday my kids will be able to read what they did when they were 5 months and 18 months old.

I am in no shape or form "depressed." I am sad with what we've all had to deal with the last 5 and a half months. I am uncertain of what the future holds for my beautiful baby girl. I am happy for both of my growing, striving children. But I am not depressed. The last time I posted, I was mad. I was mad because our car was smashed by a deer. I was mad because I had reached an all time high of my stress level. I was unsure of where God and I stood. I am still, though many think I'm nuts (obviously), re-evaluating my relationship with Him. I am having my own personal struggle with God because I don't understand the things that he has thrown our way. I don't understand why he has done this to our baby girl. I don't understand why he thought that Kris and I are strong enough to handle all of this.

My precious little girl was born premature. With that came trials and tribulations. With that came sadness. Every emotion and feeling that I have expressed has been real. I am entitled to the way that I feel. This is MY blog. I am insulted that I was thought to be emotionally unstable enough for more than one person to think that I need to seek "professional help." Not one of those people have ever had a similiar situation to compare me to. Not one single person that I know has went through anything like what we have. It is easy to pass judgement. I know that each of those people care about mine and my family's well being and only said those things because they care about us. To those and everyone else, I would like to express that this blog IS mine. I invited you to read it because I care about you and wanted to keep you updated on us. With this blog, you will read raw emotions. It's not always happy because I am not always happy. If you have a problem with what is wrote, don't read it. I know that those who said those things, didn't mean it to be hurtful and I am trying hard to not make it be. In my opinion, "professional help" will only stir up the emotions and memories that I have buried. I lived them once, I don't want to again.

Now that is all cleared up, onward!

Last time, I talked a little bit about our very long appointment with Dr. Julie. Since June 5th, Rylee has gone to visit Dr. C for her 4 month check up. She weighed in at 9 lbs, which she had been at for exactly a week, and he was happy with that. He was concerned about her flat head. And wanted us to talk to Dr. Julie about it on our next visit.

Dr. C also looked at T for his 18 month well child checkup. T looks like a large 18 month old child. He showed signs that he is advanced in some parts of his development and spot on in others. For example, he throws the ball over hand, most of the time is falls behind him, but Dr. C said that doesn't normally start until 2 years. We were most concerned about his speech. He doesn't say many actual words. He jabbers all of the time but only says a few words. Dr. C would like to wait and revisit his speech when he is 2. If we are still concerned, Birth to 3 will come in and set us up with a speech therapist. However, Dr. C says that T's "problem" is an easy fix whereas RyRy's aren't. Overall, he was happy with both children.

We spent Father's Day with the grandpas. I have pictures but the computer won't upload them right now. It's being a little nutty. DadD is going to have to monkey with it later. At Grandpa and Grandma Klauer's he got out Grandpa's boots and tried to walk around the house in them. They're a tab bit too heavy and big for his little feet.

We also took Troy and Rylee to the zoo for the first time. It was a zoo at the zoo that day. (I have pics of that too but there again, won't upload!) We went with Kris's sister-in-law Katrina and our nephews Isaac and Noah. Isaac liked the giraffes because he thinks they are chewing gum. Overall, I think that everyone had fun. T is still a little too little for the zoo. He didn't realize he was suppose to be looking at the animals. He was more interested in running around. Boys will be boys.

We got out T's pool that he was only in once last year. He was a little timid at first. After the third try to get him in it, I just put him in there. He had a ball. All of us, including the dogs and excluding RyRy, got soaked! He had fun. And once this screwbally weather straightens out, we'll head back out.

T's has been teething. He currently has 12 teeth and working on his 2 i-teeth. This has been by far the most grewling process. My mom told me that the i-teeth are the worst and they are by far! None of his other teeth hurt him. On Sunday, he spiked a fever that got up to 103.4 and was practically lathargic. We knew this was coming as we had taken him to see Dr. C who bravely, stupidly stuck his finger in T's mouth (yes, he got bit...hard) and said that molars were also coming in. Fabulous. Today, he did eat a little of his supper. Mostly, he just hid it under in his rear end. Yes, I know. He has started hiding food under his behind. He did even when I was watching him. He did it even after I told him not too (which is nothing new!).

On Sunday, we had Ry Ry's professional pictures taken, as well as family and Troy pictures! Enjoy them. They are awesome!




On Monday, Ry Ry and I made the treck down to IC to see Dr. Julie. (T and DadD were at home because T was a BEAR!) We had many issues to discuss and many items to check off our list. In total we had 3 appointments scheduled.

The first one was with Dr. Julie and NP Diane. The first issue address was RyRy's flat head and Dr. C's concern. The second issue addressed was an apnea spell that RyRy had on Thursday at her aunt Carmen's house, while I was there and her aunt Carmen was holding her (and scared the living $*!@ out her). The third was the oxygen. I turned the oxygen off at 5:30 that morning. She stated around 98 to 100% the entire time we were there! The last was her weight!

The prognosis:
1. No helmet. Dr. Julie and NP Diane thought her head has rounded out nicely since June 5th. It is still flatter and more protruded on the right frontal than most children but no need of a helmet at this point and time.

2. The apnea monitor will stay. RyRy has to wear it while she is sleeping, down for the night or riding in the car. Since she had a freak spell, Dr. Julie wants to read the print out from the machine and see if there was a misfire in her brain that she didn't breathe for 22 seconds or if she was just holding her breath.

3. The oxygen is discontinued. There are signs that we need and have been watching Ry Ry closely for that says that she isn't ready for independent breathing. As of right now, Ry Ry is having a hard time breathing due to the fact that she has developed a cold practically overnight. Probably the dramatic weather change. However, she is doing well without it and will not put her on unless she needs to be.

4. Finally, she weighed in at 9 lbs, 6 oz. The last time she was weighed at IC she was 8 lb, 15 oz. This is not a huge weight gain. But at this point in time, Dr. Julie has said that from bedtime to risetime we can do at-lib feedings and continue every 2 hours during the day with the 30 k/cal Neosure formula. Someday, we will be able to decrease to 27 k/cal. But not for a while I am afraid.

I asked Dr. Julie when she thought that Ry Ry would be able to eat cereals and babyfood since she is 5 months old, adjusted age is 2 months though. I was just curious when she would catch up. Dr. Julie said the very very very earliest for cereal would be probably November. She may really be the actual age of 12 months before cereal or baby food is introduced. Weight is an issue and always will be at this point. Ry Ry has 2 ages. Her actual age is 5 months and her adjusted age is 2 months. So cereal and baby food is still a long way off!

The second appointment was for her sweat test for Cystic Fibrosis. What an ordeal that was. I sent pictures of her to Kris and Carmen. CRAZY.

The prognosis: Rylee tested negative for Cystic Fibrosis. This is wonderful!

The final appointment was at the eye clinic. She had mean things done there. The hunkered her down with a sheet. It took about 60 seconds total for the actual exam.

The prognosis: Ry Ry's eyes looks great. We have to come back in 5 to 6 months and have a "BIG" girl check up. No more of this hold her eye lids open with funky, painful looking devises.

Overall, Monday was a wonderful day! Life without the oxygen has been scary but awesome! When we got home, I walked around the entire inside of the house without any cords attached. I am still not totally in the mindframe that she is free of cords and I can just pick her up. In due time!

This weekend for the 4th, we will be traveling to Bagley to spend the day with my dad and brother at my dad's cabin! And for the evening events, we will be watching the fireworks that my mom and Rich are shooting off for Bagley. Friday night, we will be going to Dubuque for dinner out and watch their fireworks. It's will be a fun weekend! Enjoy!