Weston Day 13 update

Technically right now Weston is 14 days old but I don't know exactly how he is doing at this very moment.  Probably filling his belly or having his belly filled for him!  Day 13 wasn't such a great day for me.  I was frustrated with the nursing.  These 12, 10, 13, 16 cc stuff is getting pretty old.  However, Day 12 he did take 20 cc for me.  That's the record so far.  He didn't want a bottle after nursing.  In the morning, I was sitting in the NICU playing with my sweet boy's beautiful golden head of hair when Lila with the annoying parents', doctor came in to see her for the day.  She announces that Ms. Lila was going home.  Now, Weston is the oldest baby there!  Well, there is only Weston and William (he did get leave and room with his mommy and daddy but had to come back when he couldn't keep his blood sugars under control).  She also announced that Mr. William would be circumcised today (Monday, August 16) and would be able to go home on Tuesday.  LOVELY!  If no other babies are brought to the NICU, than Weston will be all alone.  I guess if he is the only baby, maybe they'll work with him more on his feedings.  I think Lila was a lone ranger until Weston came along.  She was 4 days old then him and over 2 lbs smaller than him.  I am trying not to compare.  Each situation is different, except hers and Weston's are extremely close.  The thing that really bothers me is that both kiddos, Lila and William, are only children.  Who cares that Troy and Rylee are being left home and never get to spend any time with their momma?!  It's was Weston's turn to come home 12 days ago.  12 days ago, he was doing well.  I want to bring him home so freakin' bad.  I was going to stick around for the majority of the day.  I was hoping to do all feedings from 7 am to 7 pm as well as a bath before the 7 pm feeding.  I ended up going home after the 10 am feeding because Lila's parents were coming at 2 to take her home.  And I personally didn't want to see that, be there, hear it...so I came home.  I told Kristopher that he was more than welcome to go down and do the 1 pm feeding since the nurse, who was alone today with 3 babies and going to try to discharge 1 at 2 pm.  Weston was scheduled to eat at 1, William at 1:30 and Lila at 2 pm.  Now who do you think would get the shaft?  Weston!  However, Kristopher said that he didn't want to see that, hear that, be around that and didn't think that he could handle it any better than I could.  It took all my might and sole not to start crying while I was there and heard the news she was going home.  No other baby thus far has bothered me about going home.  I also haven't witnessed any baby going home, they're just gone when I get there.  However, I knew that I wouldn't handle it well, probably cry at their excitement, so I chose for my own good to go home.  It was better that way!  Weston rules the roast now.  We get to use the Serenity room.  The Serenity room is a quiet room in NICU that I could use to pump, nap or nurse.  It's really quiet!  You can't hear much from the NICU other than alarms or doors shutting.  It's actually a nice little room to have.  We used it a few times in the last couple of days.  However, Lila's parents always needed to take over because they preferred to use that room.  Now that she's gone, it's all ours!  Mr. William's parents can't take him in there because he has to stay on the monitors.  Weston gets unhooked and carried in there like a CHAMP! 

When I came home at noon, I pumped and decided to lay down.  I am still having the migraines and fevers.  I woke to a temp of 102 an hour later with chills and the whole bit.  I just can't get rid of that fever.  It's no wonder that little boy doesn't want to nurse, the milk is extremely warm and warms his belly right up.  I wouldn't want to drink 102° milk either.  The Acute care doctor said that it was perfectly fine for me to nurse him still even though I am on antibiotics for the UTI.  However, the antibiotics aren't working.  It's been the better part of a week, I only take them 2 times per day for 7 days, and I feel worse that I did a week ago.  I did get up and go back to the hospital for the 4 and 7 pm feedings and to do his bath.  I didn't know if I would be rusting at bathing a newborn but it all came flooding back as soon as I stuck him in, almost like auto pilot.  Nurse Candy, just let me do my own thing while she made him up a fresh bed.  The sheets on his "bed" are the exact same pattern as his crib set.  EXACTLY!  Hopefully, that rubs off on him!  He's also in an outfit from home so hopefully that also entices him to eat to come home.  We had a pep talk after his bath.  I simply told him he has to come home.  The Serenity Prayer is on the wall in the Serenity room.  It's what I need to pray for every single day! 

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

I love that little boy!  It breaks my heart to leave him day after day after day.  It breaks my heart to have to constantly leave Troy and Rylee.  It breaks my heart that Troy and Rylee don't want mom to do anything for them, they want dad because that's who has been taking care of them for 2 weeks.  It breaks my heart that when I come home I don't even feel well enough to help put them to bed.  Weston needs to come for everyone's sake but especially Troy and Rylee.  They need their mommy as much as their mommy needs them.  Those 3 kids, and Kris, are the light of my world, my whole reason for existing, the reason I get out of bed everyday.  I need them all here with me together!

The best part of Day 13 was that my brother and his wife became parents again.  The trifecta of babies who were suppose to be born within a total of 39 days, all came a seperate week and are all squished in 18 days... 3 babies (technically of the 5, mine, Erin's, Jen's and my 2 friends, we were expecting, 4 were born in that 18 days)!  Can you imagine what our family holidays will be like?  Oh man!  The grand total of the 3 babies are 2 boys, Sawyer (July 28) and Weston (August 2) and 1 girl, Lily (August 15).  I ran over to the hospital to visit Lily today.  She was super laid back and had been resting much of the day.  Her parents were beat so hopefully she doesn't keep them up too much tonight!  Congrats Craig, Jen and Isabelle and Welcome Ms. Lily!

Today, Monday, in a few short hours, Kris, Troy, Rylee and I will be headed to UW Genetics clinic.  It's an appointment we've been waiting 18 months for and has finally arrived.  Too bad we're not taking Mr. Weston with us to be looked over.  Bummer!  Please pray that the doctors can give us some kind of insight on what this Chromsome abnormality is and how it will affect Rylee's present and future.